Sunday, October 31, 2010


My daughter got to trick or treat twice this year.  The first was at her school's "Trunk or Treat"  She filled her bucket and her witches hat that night.  She put both, filled with candy, in her room for safe keeping.
When getting ready tonight, for Halloween, we couldn't find her witches hat...  We all looked at Diva.  Then we went outside...
There was the witches hat - SHREDDED into pieces, and no candy in sight.  Diva had eaten all of the candy, and the witches hat.  We had to run to the store to find a new witches hat before Trick or Treating tonight.
When we got home, Christa had a HUGE bag filled with candy.  She looked at Diva and said "You've already had your Halloween candy".
Happy Halloween!!!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

And then, there was Louie!

For some reason, I decided that English Bulldogs were cute.  We had a baby, 3 dogs and a lot on our plates.  I really didn't "need" another dog.  I knew that....  But still, I continued to read about bulldogs.  So, I asked Joe if he wanted to go look at some.  Just look.....
We all packed up the car and went to "look".  There were 2 there and the white one was ADORABLE!!!!  We asked to hold him and play with him....  oops.  Our daughter was a little afraid of him, but then he licked her.  I looked at Joe with MY puppy dog face.  We left with the adorable little bulldog!!
When we brought him home, we had a heck of a time with a name.  Originally he had a pretty boring name (I don't recall what it was now).  The next day I took him to the vet for his first vet check up.  He was a holy terror in the car!!!!  I called Joe and told him I was changing his name....  to Lucifer!!!  It fit.  Now, we only call him Lucifer  when he is naughty.  At all other times, he is lovingly know as Louie.
Louie is the sweetest, gentlest, stinkiest, grossest, and so ugly he's cute dog that I have ever know.  His personality is bigger than life!  He has provided us much laughter and stories over the years.  Louie is now 4 years old and still a big goof!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Here we have a chewer.....

As we got to know Lady Godiva (lovingly known as Diva), we also learned her bad habits.  We found that she enjoyed chewing....  anything!
Diva has eaten many, many things, including a cell phone, an i-pod, several remote controls and anything she can find on the counter.  When Christa was really getting mobile, she was in between the high chair and sitting at the table...  We couldn't decide if we should get rid of the high chair or not, so Diva made the decision for us!  We caught her chewing on the wooden high chair a couple of times, and scolded her.
One day, we went on a short trip to the grocery store.  When we came home, Diva had helped us with our high chair decision.  She had eaten ENTIRELY through 2 of the bottom rungs.  The high chair was no longer stable or safe.  As Joe went to take it down to the garage, he looked at Diva.  She looked back with an expression on her face, as if to say, "Christa is too big for that Dad"!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

And then there was Diva....

I am not sure exactly what we were thinking when we got Lady Godiva....  We had a newborn baby and 2 dogs, so naturally, we should add a puppy to the mix, right?
Joe and I were shopping and I was showing our beautiful baby (3 months old), puppies.  My husband, who, in case you have forgotten, was NOT a dog guy prior to meeting me, went missing.  We looked around and I finally heard "Honey, she wants to come home with us".  I turn around to see Joe, holding a 3 month old mastiff puppy! She was waving her paw at me...  She was very cute, but I had a baby and was EXHAUSTED!!  Joe explained to me that our daughter needed a puppy to grow up with and a LARGE dog to protect her.  Odd as it was, I said no.  The puppy, and Joe gave me a puppy eyed look.  I said let's go to lunch and talk about it.
We ate.  We talked....  I caved....  We went back and brought Lady Godiva home.  Her birthday is 5 days after my daughter.  What in God's name was I thinking????

  She came home and made FAST friends with Bruno, Beau and Christa.  She has become an excellent watchdog, protector and friend to the entire family....

Mom, I feel for you....

About 2 years after Joe and I were married, I got pregnant.   I think Bruno and Beau knew before I did.  They went from climbing all over me, all the time, to carefully avoiding my belly at all costs!  They helped with the new baby laundry.
Bruno "helping" with baby laundry
They helped with the painting.  They helped with the crib.  They took naps, LOTs of naps, with me!
I had a really rough pregnancy filled with LOTS and LOTS of sickness.  The only thing I could keep down were tomatoes and TUMs!!!  We were at Costco one day and I decided the industrial size bottle of TUMs was necessary!
A few weeks later, we returned home from errands....  My industrial sized bottle of Tums was opened and EMPTY on the floor!!  Bruno is a very picky eater, so I knew it was Beau...
Yet another eating related phone call to the vet...  She asked me if they were Tums with calcium, uh, yes they were.  "Laurie bring him in".  Shit, really, again?????
Beau was acting fine, and of course, still begging.  They drew his blood and sent it out.  Calcium can apparently, really screw a dog up!  Well, most dogs.  Not Beau.  He was FINE.  No trace of anything or any problems.  Geez, this dog can eat anything!!

A couple of months later we were blessed with a beautiful little girl.  When we brought her home, Beau and Bruno welcomed her immediately.  Beau would lay outside of her room and Bruno next to her crib. They remain very protective of her to this day, 5 years later!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Bread Bandit...

Joe was watching TV and I was getting ready for work.  I cam out of the bedroom and kissed him goodbye.  I pet Bruno and Beau and of I went.  Joe was still sitting on the couch when I closed the garage door.  Apparently, Beau thought that we had left together.
Beau walked into the kitchen and jumped on the counter.  He took an entire loaf of bread off of the counter and walked into the den (where Joe was sitting).  He saw Joe, forcefully spit out the loaf of bread and walked out of the room.
Oops, didn't know you were still home, Daddy.....

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

He ate what?!?!?!

Beauregard is a garbage gut.  He has been since the day I met him.  He will eat ANYTHING!!!  He has been know to eat coffee grounds, raw ground beef, bread, meatloaf and the list goes on and on...
Wedding plans were in full swing!!!  We were getting married in 2 weeks.  We were so excited and Bruno and Beau knew something was up...
We had 200 guests coming to the wedding and I had decided to make all of the center pieces and favors myself.  I had finished the center pieces - beautiful candles, and I was almost done with the favors.  I was making 200, chocolate filled, organza bags.  They took me weeks to finish and they looked beautiful!  I had special ordered the chocolate (and it was delicious!).  I had FINALLY finished all of the favors.  Off I went to a dress fitting!
I arrived home full of happiness and excitement.  I walked up the stairs and saw wrappers all over the floor.  I looked down the hallway, they were everywhere.  HOLY SH**..... the chocolates!!!  I ran into the room where the favors had been.  They were all, yes all 200, destroyed!  I looked at the dogs, Bruno was wagging and Beau bent his head and ran away.  I didn't know whether to be mad or worried, as Beau had just eaten several pounds of chocolate!
I called my vet (who is an angel!!) and she said make him vomit and watch him.  The stinker didn't even have a stomach ache and was begging for his dinner shortly there after!
I was left rushing to Hobby Lobby to buy more bags and rush order more expensive chocolate!  Happy Wedding!!  Really Beau???

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The day the dogs went missing.....

Joe and I had been dating for 6 months.  I had planned to surprise him after work and take him for a romantic getaway...  He was planning on proposing!
Since I had to work,  Joe stopped by my house to take care of Bruno and Beau.  I was sitting at work and the phone rang.  I saw it was Joe, so I answered quickly.  This is how the conversation went....

Joe "The dogs are gone"
Me "What do you mean, the dogs are gone?????"
Joe "The ran under the fence.  They are gone"
Me "Go find them"

I still had 3 hours to go on my shift.   I sat there, feeling helpless.  I became restless.  The tears started to come.  I left work and headed home.  On my way home, I called my Dad and step-mom and my brother.  Everyone was out looking for them.
Joe called and told me Beau was home.  He came home on his own.  I asked about Bruno, my first baby...  No sign of him.  My heart sunk, I began to sob.  We all continued to look for several hours and we did not find Bruno.  I was so relieved that I had asked Joe to put their collars on...  the collars never got on....  This was the angriest Joe had ever (and to this day has ever) seen me.
We went inside and I opened the back door and turned on the porch light, thinking that would help Bruno find his way home.  I even put hot dogs on the grill hoping to entice him home.  I laid on the couch with Beau all night, hoping, praying and staring at the door.
Bruno was out in the mountains, with the wildlife and highways.  He was only 18 pounds.  He didn't have a chance.  But that didn't stop me from hoping.  The next day I made many, HUGE, bright signs.  My Dad and step-mom offered to put up half of a huge reward.  I put posters EVERYWHERE!  I posted it on the computer, I called vets, I called shelters....  no Bruno, anywhere...
And then, the calls started coming in - frequently.  There were many Bruno sightings.  Everytime someone would call, my ENTIRE family would rush out of the house to look for him.  He was never there...  and then the calls stopped.  It had been almost 2 weeks and we hadn't heard from anyone for a while.  I was sure he was gone for good.  Beau was, too.  He was so upset about his buddy, that he made himself sick and ended up in the ER with an ulcer!!!  He had to spend the night in the ER.  So, I went home to an empty house, without a single snuggle buddy.
Early the next morning, the phone rang.  I was sure Beau had gotten worse, or even died during the night.  This phone call went like this:

Me "Hello?"
Caller "I found your dog"
Me "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!?????????  REALLY???????  WHERE ARE YOU?????"
Caller "At the school"

I hung up the phone and rushed to get dressed.  I then realized, I had not asked WHICH school!!??!!??!! I drove to the junior high, where there had been Bruno sightings.  I pulled up into the circle drive at the front and 2 men came out of the door, followed by a small and very tired beagle!!!!!  I was so happy to see Bruno!  I cried and cried and thanked the men.  I was so excited I never even asked where he was or how long they had him!  Bruno looked great!  He only had a tiny scratch on his back paw!  And he looked very, very tired.
We went home, I called, and woke up, my dad to tell him.  He was just as happy!  While we talked, Bruno searched for Beau, who was not home.  Bruno was sad, so I had to tell him the good news that happened while he was gone.  Joe and Mommy were getting married!!  He was going to have a Daddy! He wagged his tail and then we both passed out in my bed!
Later that day, I took Bruno to the ER to see Beau.  Beau perked right up, as did Bruno.  Beau was released the next day!  We all began the wedding plans!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Who the hell is this guy???

By 2002, I had given up on love and the hope of ever finding the perfect mate.  Then I met him....  Joe lost a bet and had to take me to dinner...  We were inseparable after that.  I had a previous relationship where I was asked to move in with someone.  In the same sentence, I was told, "you can't bring your dog" (I should have known then).  So, I told Joe that if he was interested in me, he needed to be interested in my dogs, too!
Joe was not a big dog guy when we met!!!  He would come over and Beau would talk to him.  Bruno, however, would turn his nose up at him.
Joe would offer to walk the dogs....  Beau would go, Bruno would not.  Joe would say "Come", Bruno would go the other way.  Joe would feed them, Bruno wouldn't eat.
Bruno made it very clear that there was not room in his world for someone who would take his Mommy's attention away.  Little did he know, he would grow to love Joe....  eventually...

Why won't Bruno grow??

I took Bruno to his third or fourth vet check up.  He just wasn't growing.  He was eating, drinking and thriving.  but he wasn't growing.
The vet examined him and said he looked great.  He was a healthy beagle.

I asked the vet, "why isn't he growing"?
The vet scratched his head and responded, "Laurie, he must be a minature beagle".....
I paused, and then replied, "I didn't know they came in minature"!!
He said, "Apparently, they do"...

Bruno is 12 years old and still weighs only 18 pounds.  If it weren't for the gray, he would still look like a puppy!

Monday, October 11, 2010

And then there was Beau....

Several years after Bruno, my roommate got a new job and was moving away.  I decided Bruno needed a friend to keep him company while I was at work.  I went to the local shelter and found an australian shepard puppy.  He was adorable.  I took him home to meet Bruno...  The meeting did not go well.  The puppy bit Bruno three times in the first hour.  Bruno was scared.  I took the puppy back to the shelter.  I left in tears, no friend for Bruno.
Over the next few weeks, I would check out the shelter's website and would always be disappointed.  Until one day....  It was a Sunday morning and I rolled out of bed.  I checked my email in my jammies.  I decided to look at the shelter's website.  There he was - "Bo"....  a handsome black lab, that someone dumped.  I called them to see if he was still available.  The lady remembered me and told me he was still there, but a couple was coming in an hour to meet him!
I raced around the house, putting on acceptable clothes.  I didn't do my hair.  It looked as if I had come out of a tornado, and the tornado won!  I hopped in my car and flew to the shelter.
I met "Bo" and fell in love.  He nudged me and "spoke".  He even "sat handsome".  I was told he had been a rock chewer, so it was hard to judge his age by his teeth.  They thought he was around 5.  I decided to bring him home for another meet with Bruno.
I was nervous, "Bo" was excited.  I opened the door to the house and Bruno ran out....  He sniffed "Bo", "Bo" sniffed him.  Bruno welcomed him into his home and showed him around.  The have been best friends for the last 7 years!
I changed "Bo's" name to Beauregard (Beau).  A bit more distinguished and original.  It also made it easy for him to know his name.
I soon found out that poor Beau had been through a lot.  Probably dumped by his family, for whatever awful reason.  He didn't have food, so he ate rocks.  He was literally skin and bones when he came to live with us.  His now silky, black coat was dirty, ratty and brown.  The most heartbreaking moment was when Beau had an xray.  We found out that Beau had been shot!!  The poor guy still has several BBs in his body today.
Beau is getting older, he turns 12 this month.  To this day, he has been goofy, loving and wonderful.  He has won the heart of our daughter, who says "I never want old Beau Beau to go to heaven"...  Neither do I....

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Meet Bruno....

Twelve years ago, I was living in an apartment, with a hamster...  I missed my dogs.  It was Christmas time and my brother and I went to the mall to shop.  As always, I insisted on going to the pet store to get my fill of puppies.
When we walked in, there was an adorable little beagle in the center, wanting to be held.  I picked him up and he kissed me, with his wonderful puppy breath.  I left him there, tears in my eyes, a wag in his tail....
My grandfather sent me a check for Christmas that year.  My best friend, Jenny, and I went to the mall to spend some of my gift.  As usual, we went to the pet store.  Unbeknownst to Jenny, this time, I was looking for someone.  I walked up and down the aisle, searching....  Jenny asked me what I was looking for.  I told her a beagle.  She said, "Well there is a beagle in the front window"!
I raced to the front of the store....  there he was, my little beagle friend!  I asked to hold him, even as Jenny said, "Nooooooooooooooo, don't hold him"!  I held him.
I hugged him and snuggled him; and then it happened...  He kissed my nose.  I was done.  I heard myself saying, "I'll take him".  Did I mention, my apartment did not allow dogs???
His first scary encounter happened shortly after meeting me...  I had to work that night, so we just headed to Jenny's house, which was near work.  When we got there, with the adorable, tiny, 8 week old beagle, Jenny's malamute tried to eat him!!  Poor little guy.
That night, he went to work with me.  I kept him in a cardboard box under my console.  I was a 911 operator.  As I was bending over to pet him, I keyed my microphone (not knowing).  I began to say things like "you are so cute", "I love you" and "I am so happy you are mine".  All of these went over the airwaves to all of the cops I was dispatching!  After giving me a hard time, they all came in and said similar things to my new best friend.
I named him "Brunobear, the beagleman".  He is now known to all as my beloved Bruno...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


This blog was created on behalf of my 4 crazy, lovable dogs, who are constantly providing stories for me and my family and friends.  My best friend suggested I begin blogging about my crazy group after an incident involving a butter braid...  I have been a dog lover as long for as long as I remember.  I was even voted "most likely to be arrested for having too many animals" my senior year in high school....

Let me introduce you to my brood:

"Brunobear, the beagleman" aka "Bruno"
Bruno is a 12 year old, minature beagle that has been with me longer than my husband or daughter.  With the exception of my parents, brother and a couple of great friends, I have had the longest relationship of my life with Bruno.  He is kind, sweet and excessively stubborn!

"Beauregard" aka "Beau"
Beau is an almost 12 year old (I think) black lab.  I rescued him almost 7 years ago when my roommate moved away and I thought Bruno needed a friend.  He is needy, mouthy and oh so sweet.  Prior to him living with me, he was a rock chewer and VERY skinny.  He is now fat and happy, minus the rocks!

"Lady Godiva" aka "Diva"
Diva is a beautiful, 5 year old mastiff.  She was my husband's pick, very shortly after the birth of our daughter.  My husband thought our infant daughter needed a big watchdog in her life.  Diva is 5 days younger than my daughter (what were we thinking!!)

and then there is "Lucifer" aka "Louie"
Louie is a 4 year old english bulldog.  He is stubborn, feisty, disgusting and truly the sweetest dog I have ever met!  We got him because he was "cute".  He initially had a different, less descriptive name, until I rode in the car with him on the way to his first vet check up....

So, that's my gang.  They are a diverse, eclectic group that provides me with much joy, laughter and frustration every day!